no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he fucked my hip out of place.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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