Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
