You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
