We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
