Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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