So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
