Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
