then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
