does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
