the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
