I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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