i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
