He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
