Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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