god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
