You made me cry and you don't even care
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
