there's paper in my vomit.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
