I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Even my vagina gasped.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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