The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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