Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

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  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (1285) Bad night (7345)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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  (651): drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then. http://tfl.nu/hp3p
  Replies (17) Good night (2867) Bad night (747)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10236) Bad night (1193)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4449) Bad night (833)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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  (480): oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund http://tfl.nu/xo4q
  Replies (6) Good night (2836) Bad night (772)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you didn't get her number why?

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  (724): So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends. (1-724): you didn't get her number why? http://tfl.nu/gt6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (1495)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha

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  (610): We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha http://tfl.nu/f3qb
  Replies (4) Good night (1560) Bad night (555)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3495) Bad night (638)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)

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  (978): Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :) http://tfl.nu/2ww0
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (621)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier

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  (828): In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier http://tfl.nu/71e3
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (500)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru

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  (520): U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru http://tfl.nu/6qqt
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (1162)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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  (503): drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over http://tfl.nu/dlzy
  Replies (9) Good night (1301) Bad night (542)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?

  (1-343): View more from Ontario

  Lol, last year was UNREAL

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  (343): Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy? (1-343): Lol, last year was UNREAL http://tfl.nu/u4kx
  Replies (10) Good night (1180) Bad night (225)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.

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  (787): I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house. http://tfl.nu/o0ch
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (178)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?

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  (734): I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/odfb
  Replies (8) Good night (321) Bad night (703)

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