i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
