Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (2004)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  (502): Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely . http://tfl.nu/di6d
  Replies (18) Good night (4457) Bad night (1626)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.

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  (402): The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier. http://tfl.nu/7vbg
  Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (3307)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

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  (850): idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots' http://tfl.nu/6gvu
  Replies (6) Good night (3102) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa

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  (732): You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa http://tfl.nu/fgun
  Replies (13) Good night (3248) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.

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  (210): Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night. http://tfl.nu/uzh8
  Replies (9) Good night (2522) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

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  (713): You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress". http://tfl.nu/1fwn
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1186) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

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  (917): Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes (610): God bless Atlanta. http://tfl.nu/oxn2
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1525) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.

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  (206): I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it. http://tfl.nu/fi43
  Replies (1) Good night (954) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked

  (539): View more from

  All of it

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  (727): What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked (539): All of it http://tfl.nu/fe2w
  Replies (5) Good night (662) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.

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  (989): yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know (1-989): im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology. http://tfl.nu/m7q7
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS

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  (404): HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS http://tfl.nu/7wbc
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (137)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!

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  (908): you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?! http://tfl.nu/kjl1
  Replies (0) Good night (59) Bad night (27)

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