Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.