6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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