last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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