maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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