I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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