No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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