My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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