Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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