just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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