I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
