I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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