You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
