Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
