White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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