My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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