Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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