Too much gin, very little bucket
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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