i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
