tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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