maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
