So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
