I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
