and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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