The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize