when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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