beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
