Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
