Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Alive.
So much puke
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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