dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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