yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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