I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
