Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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