His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
