we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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