Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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