I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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