I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
