Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
