ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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